The Rest of Laos

Please, holy plastic figurine person, don't let us die in the god-forsaken minivan!

Greetings friends and loved ones. We apologize for the lengthy delay in posting an entry, but the difficulty in obtaining a decent wireless internet connection in Laos has thus far prevented us from doing so. But fear not! Danberly is back.

So where did we leave off? Oh yes, our trekking experience through the hill tribe villages of northern Laos. So much has happened since then. Here is a not-so-brief rundown of the rest of our time in Laos:

We spent a few more days in Louang Prabang so that Dan’s energy levels and colon could make a full recovery. Then we headed down what must certainly be the wildest road in Southeast Asia to the hippie backpacker town of Vang Vieng. This is a seriously crazy road… Kim was clutching her newly purchased pillow like a scared toddler holding on to a favorite stuffed animal for dear life. This narrow and precipitous road winds dangerously up and down impossibly high cliffs with sheer drops hundreds of feet to the valley below with not a single guard rail to prevent us from falling to our death. Our driver barreled the minivan down the road at irresponsible speeds, passing large trucks at blind corners, swerving out of the way of passing livestock and small children, and not slowing down even the faintest bit at the hundreds of hairpin curves along the route. Perhaps his speed was due to the fact that Highway 13 is infamous for it’s often deadly attacks by bandits on passing vehicles. Hmmmm… evil bandits or a 6-hour roller-coaster ride with a possible Thelma and Louise style ending? I think I’d almost rather take my chances with the bandits, especially considering the episode that occurred at our first rest stop. So we all get out of the van, thanking our lucky stars that we’d made it this far. Our driver heads straight over to a table at the small restaurant we’ve parked in front of to hang out with several fellow Lao folk. Kim watches him down a couple glasses of tea. As he pours himself his 3rd glass of tea, Kim realizes that it’s not tea that he’s drinking, but Beer Lao! We’re passengers heading down the scariest road we’ve ever been on with a drunk driver! Kim told Dan the terrible news, and Dan quickly went over to regulate. With patience and a few friendly pats on the shoulder, Dan convinced our driver to stop consuming alcohol and get back on the road. Yes, yes, of course we considered that perhaps we shouldn’t get back in the van with this madman, but we were stuck in the middle of nowhere, hours from any town along a road plagued by bandits, so our options were pretty grim. So back in the van we went. Dan sat next to the driver, prepared to take over the wheel at the slightest notion of a mishap, and Kim sat next to two Japanese tourists chanting mantras and doing breathing exercises, and of course, clutching her pillow in an ever-increasing sense of panic and anxiety.

Here is a video to further illustrate some of our travels.



With shaky nerves and loose bowels, we finally pulled into Vang Vieng. We’ve never been so happy to be on terra firma, and the scenery truly was spectacular. Huge tree-covered karsts rise up from the ground forming an impenetrable fortress around this beautiful green valley. The town itself, however, left a lot to be desired. Here in the middle of rural Laos, this town has become a parody of a backpacker fantasy world. One can sit all day at the several “TV bars” watching reruns of “Friends” episodes, slurping on one’s “Magic Shake” or munching one’s “Magic Pizza” (the “magic” is provided with the addition of “magic mushrooms” of course). Opium and marijuana are as easy to come by as Beer Lao or Coca-Cola.

During the day, scores of stoned tourists piled into the backs of pickup trucks with old truck inner tubes to be dropped off a few miles up the road, and spend the next couple hours floating lazily along the Nam Song river. We did it of course, but it was unlike any tubing experience we’d had before. At every bend in the river was a riverside bar with bass-thumping house music or blaring Bob Marley. At each bar they’d built these impressively gigantic wooden structures, each one a little different, but all of them including a fancy zip-line that would swing you out from the platform and drop you from dizzying heights into the deep pools below. It was like Peter Pan and the Lost Boys on crack. And marijuana. And shots of Lao Lao whiskey… tripping on mushrooms… in Laos. In theory it should have been fun, or at least entertaining, but mostly it was just sad. It was a perfect case of tourism gone horribly wrong. It’s what can happen when a vulnerable country opens it’s arms and it’s borders to tourism after years of isolation. When you take a small town in the middle of nowhere with no real rules or restrictions and you dump thousands of young westerners looking for cheap thrills, Vang Vieng is what you get. But who knows… if we had been surrounded by rowdy friends, and Kim didn’t have such a fear of hallucinogenic drugs, perhaps we would have had the time of our lives. However, we did have some very lovely days hiking around the surrounding areas, exploring caves, swinging on rope swings into unbelievably beautiful tourquoise swimming holes, then refreshing ourselves with delicious 7Up in a bottle made with real sugarcane! And we had one enchanting evening lazing in hammocks, drinking Beer Lao and watching an amazing sunset over the Nam Song river. I guess there’s something for everyone in Vang Vieng.

We left Vang Vieng, and headed on down to Vientiane, the capitol city of Laos. The drive was pleasant, and our driver didn’t have even a single beer (that we know of). Since we’d stayed in Thailand as long as we were legally allowed to, we came to Vientiane to get new Thai visas. The town was unremarkable. We checked into a hotel room whose owners somehow assumed that lime green is the color of the moment. We spent the better part of the next day in the raging sun at the Thai Embassy waiting in line to hand in our visa application. It literally took hours upon hours, and it provided the perfect example of the “Thai-style of organization,” meaning that there wasn’t much. We finally dropped off our applications along with 1000 baht each, were given a slip of paper and were told to come back the next day to pick up our visas and passports. So the next day involved much of the same; standing in line in the hot sun and waiting for an eternity along with citizens of countless other countries. But rejoice! We finally got our fancy new Thai visas, and were happy to be heading out of town. Except we couldn’t, because our plane wasn’t scheduled to leave for a couple more days. So we reluctantly and anxiously hung around Vientiane with ants in our pants. We watched many a DVD and twiddled our thumbs and bickered amongst ourselves until finally Laos relinquished it’s cold grip on us, and we flew off into the distance in a rickety prop-plane toward Cambodia.

See you next time in Siem Reap!

Love,
Dan&Kim

David posted on 2008-02-01 at 10:03 am

Great story! Sounds like you had a fantastic time. I guess immigration issues in the US aren't so bad after all. Surprised there wasn't a guy standing outside the immigration office offering a "quick" visa for 5,000 baht. How was the ball 'o meat?

---

amy posted on 2008-01-29 at 11:50 pm

as always ..I luv you guys .Tell your secrets how are you doing it ? Funding your travels and such..I want to join in the fun!! Thanks for sharing your journey Love AMy

---

nona and poppi posted on 2008-01-29 at 10:27 am

it was great hearing from you as always.we just were very anxious about your trip on the van.we don't know how you were able to handle it. missing you much!

---

Grace posted on 2008-01-29 at 12:53 am

This ride reminds me of 45 years ago when I was living in Singapore. At that time they drove forward backwards side ways, on foot past any where they could squeez through, there they go. I love reading your adventures Lots of Love Grace

---

Mom posted on 2008-01-28 at 12:32 am

Your holy plastic figurine was you lucky charm. This is something when you look back and say did we really do that. Glad you are back on comfortable territory. Are you staying in the same apartment complex you had before? Looking forward to the adventures of Cambodia. Till then. Be well. With love Hugs and kisses. oxoxoxox

---

katerina posted on 2008-01-27 at 3:01 pm

seriously about the local minivan drivers on the cliffside roads! ~ i think this is common outside the u.s. ~ my favorite being when the road is actually called "devil's backbone" or "dead man's curve" or some such thing.....i suppose the drivers do that particular drive so many times that they could do it in their sleep....and therefore do it at ridiculous speed and without the need for sobriety.....who knows. so once again, LOVED the photos and the words....can't wait for more!

---

chris & jordana posted on 2008-01-27 at 3:36 am

I love the site man!! J and will look through it all and live through you guys! Great to meet you today, what r u doing for dinned tomorrow? I mean we are right down the street we should go grab a beer and a pad Thai! In the mean time have a great night!!! chris & jordana hazelnutent@gmail.com

---

Nash! posted on 2008-01-25 at 4:33 pm

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)

---

Auntie Wendy posted on 2008-01-24 at 10:34 pm

Oh My, your account of your minivan driver sounds very similar to my brother's when he came to Okinawa to visit us. Remind me to share that with you when you get back. The Karsts look very much like those in China. My Japanese tea instructor showed us pictures of Guilin where she visited last summer. They are truly beautiful, and you got to see them for real and in person. So when are we coming back? If ever?? Been wondering where you are with your travels so again, thank you so much for sharing. It has been a great vacation thus far!!!!! Can't wait to see where else we get to go!! Love to you both. Mata ne!

---

RSS Feed Subscription