Koh Means Island

Kim and Porthole aboard ferry to Koh Phangan

With our two remaining weeks in Thailand, we decided to do one week soaking up the paradise islands in the south and one week shopping in the raging megapolis of Bangkok. A few airplanes, a bus, a ferry and a ride in the back of a pick-up truck later, we were safely in Koh Phangan.

Koh Phangan is a small, "fun loving" island off the coast of the ritzy Koh Samui. A large percentage of the visitors to this island are young backpackers, drawn by the famous "Full Moon Party", the somewhat famous "Half Moon Festival" and the newly promoted "Black Moon Party". These are huge Ibizaesque techno raves that rage through the nights and well into the next mornings. We did not attend any of these debaucherous festivals, so if you're looking for lewd descriptions of topless drug abuse, you'll have to wait until we get back to Scottsdale.

Our first few days on Koh Phangan were gray and drizzly with patches of heavy rain. We were marooned in the Harmony Beach Resort (the word "Resort" is used very loosely in Thailand), drinking surprisingly delicious cappuccinos and watching rain clouds drift across the ocean waves. We were cozy and content at first, but when the bedding of our beachside bungalow became undesirably moist, our moods darkened. Wet pillows led to sneezes, sneezes gave way to whining and whining seemed to attract hungry mosquitoes. The novelty of saving a few Bhat by sacrificing hot showers and flushing toilets quickly grew tiresome.

Have we described manual-flush toilets yet? Well, it's a seemingly normal toilet, except the flusher doesn't work. So there's a giant vessel of some sort (usually a large plastic garbage bin) that is filled with water. Floating in the water is a grungy plastic scooper thing. So, you scoop the water out of the vessel, and dump it into the toilet to create a flushing action. Sometimes it takes an obnoxious number of scoops to flush everything down. It's just gross and inefficient.

Three long nights, slathered in DEET, squishing between a foam mattress and worn bedsheet, slapping ourselves in the ears hoping to destroy that whining mosquito sound...we needed to find a more posh hotel; one with flushing toilets and preferably a ping pong table. After all, we were trying to find paradise.

{Let's take a moment to make a small offering to proprietors of rooms worldwide. No matter what you charge for your hotel/motel/bungalow room, the following are things the pillow should not smell like:
1. Mildew
2. Head
3. Sweat
4. Head sweat
5. Cheap perfume
6. Cheap air freshener
7. Chemicals (of any sort)
8. Balls
9. Dried squid}

We found the Milky Bay Resort. The bungalows were overpriced and the pillows reeked like mildew but they had a ping pong table. The sun poked its way through the clouds. We emerged from our bungalow, covered in red mosquito welts, fingers wrinkled from the moisture. We ran to the beach. We aligned our sun loungers. We adjusted our towels. We opened our books. We bathed in the sun!

Days later we were not belligerently drunk, the sun was again not shining, our tan bases were not deepening, and as our bank accounts were dwindling from the ghastly overpriced island, we decided it was time to go be tourists for real: on a shopping spree in Bangkok. We'll see you there!

Love,
Dan&Kim

Mom posted on 2008-03-18 at 11:09 pm

For some reason I had a different picture in my head about Paradise Island. Wait till you get back and try some of the Scottsdale RESORTS where you will find the toilets flush for you. The mosquitos they just buzz and don't bite. And the sun shines all the time so you can tan all you want. Great pictures,Keep the adventure going. Looking forward to Bangkok. See you there. With love hugs and kisses.Mom. xoxoxoxoxoxox

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Anna posted on 2008-03-18 at 1:41 pm

once again, gorgeous pics. I personally think Kim knows how to make motorcycle helmets look WAY cool. never say never. ;) after that toilet story/description, I can only imagine how much pleasure you will derive from the "simple" things here in the U.S., upon your return - whenever that really may be! enjoy your last days there, guys :)

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katerina posted on 2008-03-15 at 6:46 pm

i was fooled!!.....i thought i might see you any day now! but live it up ~ get some phenomenal deals on things you never needed, discover merchandise you never knew existed....it should be a good cushion for the culture shock upon returning to arizona ;) i can't wait.......but wait, we're going to have to fight over you guys with your families aren't we? .....muchmuchmuch love and missing!

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